, The good guys always have plenty of ammo to shoot at the bad guys until the plot requires that they be captured
, Any old whizkid or astromech droid can override the security protocols for the city's central computer. The designers never seem to upgrade their firewalls to avoid this.
, The thousand year-old alien battleship of a long-gone empire is always more powerful than the most recent state-of-the-art starship.
, A Shape shifting alien race is found, people constantly try to profit from it things go bad alein rampage occurs
, When the Evil Overlord dies, none of his surviving henchmen move into the power vacuum; instead, his empire collapses. (this too needs to be a red cross mark, IMHO)
, A plucky hero or side-kick sends supposedly veteran fighter scurrying away while yelling at the top of his lungs and firing wildly. They come to some barrier, realize what's happened, and then chase or kill him.
, The story always involves some connection to earth and/or humans, never aliens and a different planet.
, The attackers(good or bad)waste ammo, lifeform power, and overall ships usually trying to defeat the so called "minor ship" that their target is on rather than destroying the main ship that is the heatrbeat of the fleet.
, The attackers(good or bad)waste ammo, lifeform power, and overall ships usually trying to defeat the so called "minor ship" that their target is on rather than destroying the main ship that is the heartbeat of the fleet.
, Someone or something gets sucked into the vacuum of space.
, This builds on common household objects being an achille's heel to aliens, THE CHEMICAL IS ALWAYS CONSUMABLE ALCOHOL!
, Artillery, Tanks, APC's, Bombers, Mortars, and just about anything else we had in WWII besides infantry do not exist in the future. Also, when a laser hits metal, it explodes.
, Never fear - terrifying, renowned evil warriors and troops are easily defeated, even by confused, inexperienced, untrained youngsters. It helps that these super-villains and super henchmen can't aim to shoot at their own feet.
, All money is in credits or valuable objects. There is no paper money or coin., HD
, Crittical shipbaord systems that don't have emergency back-up systems, thus leaving the crew completely screwed if they fail., jc
, Systems failing at the most convenient moments with no back-ups in place, or systems being disabled in battle just when the captain orders them to be used. The timing in which a system is disabled corresponds exactly to to when the captain orders it to be used., TS
, Hot babes are immortal. Their entire civilization can be vaporized under their feet and the D-cup women with breathy voices will survive. But nobody seems to think that hot babes are already the ultimate super solders, and evil conquerors wastefully dedicate big bucks trying to construct robotic death cannons., Mush
, Horror movies (also sci-fi): The sole voice of reason in any crisis is the a**-hole character who dies early on. (Example: in the movie Quarantine, the A**hole charter ,who duly notes that people are turning into raving zombies, basically says “I’m going to go up to my room and barricade the F*** out of it.” He proptly gets eaten by a dog. Everyone else gathers together in the lobby [with the “infected” in the same room] and get needlessly picked off by zombies. , Mush
, If you have a parasitical race of aliens that form raiding parties and steal food from another race of aliens, the parasitical race can not be as big, or bigger, than aliens they pray on, Mush
, Aliens learn to speak English from watching Human Television. Aside from watching babies’ shows (where the name of an object is spoken at the same time the object is shown), most human television shows consist of two people facing each other and speaking about things and events that are happening off screen. Would you learn that the Spanish word for “water fall” is “cascada,” based on a scene in a TV show where 2 people are discussing their recent vacation… while they are standing in their kitchen? , Mush
, If aliens learn to speak English by watching TV, they never mimic the frequent sound effects that play during children’s shows and car commercials. (“These prices are incredible!” *Boing-g-g-g!*), Mush
, Two races or species being at war, even though they have the same values and natural/ industrial resources. , Mush
, A scene where an alien (or a human among aliens) finds the most embarrassing places to hide (like hiding behind the toilet just as some big un-noticing alien decides to take a… potty break. Or hiding in the bedroom closet just as a couple are about to… do non-G rated things to each other.) I know these scenes are intended to be funny, but most of the time, I just feel embarrassed for the poor alien. , Mush
, An advanced, space faring human who crash lands on a primitive planet, knows enough about how to build water tight boats out of wood beams and mud that he can sail hundreds of miles of ocean to reach some far off island (without printed out online instructions, or a native helper who has built boats before), Mush
, If there are no witnesses, crimes go unsolved- even though there is an abundance of DNA evidence and fingerprints. (Technologically inferior races are excluded), Mush
, Robots get high (inebriated, intoxicated) by breathing in the fumes of an exploded battery., Mush
, Marijuana plants get high (inebriated, intoxicated) by breathing in the fumes of a human on fire. , Mush
, If an alien breeds with a human, other members of that aliens’ race don’t call the police or file a complaint about that alien’s abuse towards humans., Msuh
, Technology that teaches the language of an advanced race to a member of a primitive race by “beaming the knowledge” into the primitive person’s eyes. (battle field earth, battle for terra) , Mush
, Aliens have powers (magical powers- like the ability to heal the wounded, detect wicked intentions, survive while frozen in a block of ice, etc.) If it happens to be the humans who are the visiting race, the humans will have no such powers over the aliens., Mush
, People who are brainwashed can be brought to their senses by showing them photos of their families/friends. (Stockholm syndrome is a type of brainwashing [wherein the victim believes whole-heartedly that the oppressor is a good person/ trying to protect them], and it takes weeks, if not years to get a victim back on track- and that’s with therapy provided by professionals.), Mush
, Defeating a monster/ lower life form causes that monster to serve you. (Examples: Pokemon, Final fantasy monsters that can be summoned in battle, those two soldier guys from Planet 51) , Mush
, Aliens who crash land on Earth would rather guarantee themselves an execution once the humans discover that they are in fact aliens, rather than steal human clothing off a clothes line. (Either death is not that big of a deal, or stealing is too wicked of an act to justify your continued survival) , Mush
, Civilian vehicles of the future have built in armories. (War torn refugees fleeing through the “no-man’s-zone” of space are excused), Mush
, Robots that are programmed to fall in love. , Mush
, A mega zoom out shows that the universe is: (1) entirely contained in a glass jar on a shelf, (2) a piece of black spotted mold in a kid’s science fair project, (3) actually a cell of an indescribably huge multi-cellular organism, (4) is the pupil of one of god’s eyes, with heaven and hell being the two halves of a red and blue colored iris. , Mush
, Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when the hero gives some miraculous medicine to the chieftain’s sick/dieing daughter. , Mush
, Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when the hero’s ship crash-lands on top of the tribe’s worst enemy (often a mountain lion or another warring tribe), Mush
, (3) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when The hero is found lost, wandering around a sacred (and hidden) place while in possession of supernatural tools, weaponry, or medicine., Mush
, (4) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when the hero looks almost identical to the heroine’s dead boyfriend/brother/father whom she misses every day., Mush
, (5) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when the hero’s advanced technology allows the him to effortlessly pass through the "chamber of trials", Mush
, (6) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when a member of the tribe is taken onboard the spaceship and sees his planet (or his town) from a window, Mush
, (7) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when, after finding a radio/ walkie-talkie/ cell phone/ communicator of a dead member of the hero’s crew, the heroine hears the voice of the hero screaming for backup or telling his location and requesting medical assistance. , Mush
, (7) Trust/respect between the lone hero (technology advanced hero) and the primitive hunter-gatherer tribe is formed when the syllables/sounds that make up the hero’s name translate out to “holy-one” “death-bringer” “Sky-man” “forever” “love” “I-give-You-good-luv’en” in the native’s language. , Mush
, Pricking your finger on broken glass and then touching “the serum” is enough to turn you into a mindless daemon every full moon/ every night/ every time someone says the word “spaghetti”/ every time the plot demands that a monster appear. , Mush
, A human trapped on the surface of a planet can be left there for weeks. That human may loose weight or go insane, but he will not develop a vitamin deficiency, a sense of disgust towards nature, or an even greater sense of entitlement. Basically, this cliché makes mostly good things happen to the character when he is left alone in the wilderness, at the brink of starvation., Mush
, Deaf men who can read lips remember what people whisper. Just thought I’d bring that up. , Mush
, A tribe of primitive people (“Primitive” meaning that they think that technology is either magical, or the result of fairies or other nature-spirits) find a grounded spaceship and make house themselves inside of it. After years of living there, no one thinks of pushing any of the colorful buttons or searching through the unearthly objects scattered around the ship. As a result, the tribesmen are shocked –SHOCKED- to discover the “magical” properties of the ship (flying, indoor lighting, etc.) when a different ships’ crewman casually walks in and pushes one of the buttons. , Mush
, Aliens eat some kind of spice that is extremely common in their home planet’s cooking. (as spice that is as common on alien food as salt, pepper, or garlic is on earth food.) When a human character eats some food that has that spice on it, the human gets addicted, gets extremely horny for alien booty, gets turned into a member of that alien species, or gets liver cancer. , Mush
, Aliens thinking that dogs are the dominate race (over humans) based on the evidence that we (humans) clean up their poop. The aliens never seem to notice the part where we humans buy dogs from pet stores, keep them on leashes, and take them to the pound. This basically amounts to keeping dogs in cramped cages, preventing them from making basic free-choice decisions such as choosing where they want to walk, and murdering them when they attack or become too sick. (Now, this cliché is okay if the aliens meet a feral child living amongst a pack of wild dogs or any such situation where the dogs actually are the masters, but not otherwise.), Mush
, Evil men have crazy hair (frizzy, poofy, braided, bald…) , Mush
, Surprise! It was my twin brother/sister all along!, Mush
, (Videogames) Objects that are exceedingly common (or at least, extremely easy to reproduce) are key items that you have to get from some NPC after completing a quest. You never get the opportunity to find or reproduce the key item yourself. (Example: bring key item [garlic bread] to NPC [starving boy]. Acquire key item [garlic bread] from NPC [old lady].) It never crosses your character’s mind to make his own key item. He needs to go on a ridiculously circuitous quest to obtain an already existing one., Mush
, Alien technology that, when activated, forces an unwilling host to play music. , Mush
, For some reason, the misguided villain thinks it’s a good idea to summon satin in his living room. I mean, it’s not like the villain prepared any counter measures to make sure that the price of darkness doesn’t double cross him. , Mush
, The socially awkward, but wholly sympathetic, hero is about to approach a small grouping (usually two) of his friends /collogue /love interests just as they start talking about something that makes it sound like they hate/ have murderous intentions for the hero. Really, the friends /collogue /love interests were saying the opposite of what they actually believe just to illustrate a point. (Example: Shrek 1; Shrek (an ogre) overhears the princess saying the phrase “ugly and princess don’t mix” when she was really talking about herself.), Mush
, The bad guy drinks an unmarked vial of poison, thinking that it was (1) the elixir of life, (2)tasty tasty wine, (3) the cure to the disease that both he and the hero have, (4) the last glass of water in the underground base, (5) a glass of radio-wave emitting nano-bots submerged in drinking water that would act as an ID for the aliens to come and find him. Furthermore, the bad guy will ingest the vial of poison right in front of the hero, taunting the hero that “there is nothing you can do, I’ve already won.” immediately after saying his boast, he grips his chest in agony as the poison begins to attack his nervous system. , Mush
, If a male prisoner and a female prisoner both share the same sell, they will be in love by the time they both make their escape. Never does a young man in his twenties end up sharing a sell with a gross old woman. , Mush
, If a team of people must go back in time to rescue someone (from modern times) who got stuck in the past but has had time to adapt to life back then and BLEND IN, the team tries to casually kidnap the first person they see who has a similar face to the person they are looking for. The person the capture is of course a native of that time, and is severely traumatized by being taken to the present day. The rescuers never think to ask questions that only a person from the present day would be able to answer (Questions like: Who is Mickey Mouse’s friends? What did Michael Jackson do for a living? Where do you find black holes? What type of vehicle is a 747?) , Mush
, The guard or the lone warden who has fallen asleep while he should be watching the prisoner; Often his keys are on his belt, on the desk he is slumped over sleeping on, or on a loan coat rack nub that’s jutting out of the wall. , Mush
, A scientist uses an experimental drug, device, etc. on him/herself without without doing sufficant prior testing and/or risk assessment. Assuming any of his/her colleagues actually care enough to try to talk him/her out of doing something so career-endingly irresponsible and dangerous, their concerns are curtly dismissed as he/she up-ends the testtube/throws the switch/whatever. It never ends well. ("Remeber kiddies, if you experiment on yourself, you have an idiot for a test subject."), mi
, Messages in food (non-supernatural ones) are always true, current, and relevant. Even a rag sewn with the message “Prison brake - midnight tonight” that was planted in a prison guard’s sandwich will not a decoy. , Mush
, ***Hero: “But what can a transparently evil character like you do to help me make amends with my recently estranged love interest?” ***Villain: “I can give you a marginally safe love potion for you and her to drink. Here, swallow every last drop of this precisely proportioned liquid or else you’ll just go into a diabetic coma instead of dying- I mean… falling in love” ***Hero: “Well, you are my father’s trusted adviser and co-beneficiary in the event of his death…”, Mush
, Not once during the hero's week-long adventure in a strange new world does he ever have to take a dump., AA
, If a female character is pregnant, she will invariably go into labor at the least opportune time (two of the many examples available are Padme in "Star Wars" and Scully in "X-Files")., JL
, Any well-known and nearly revered playwright's most famous works are always better "In the original Klingon". Even when there's nothing in the original Klingon that translates into "To be". (Marc Okrand confessed to this, once), TRS
, All technology is compatible (i.e. Independence Day, Mac easily interoperates with Alien tech). Characters rarely need to struggle with translation or operation of any kind of technology (Star Trek IV was a rare example). As a corollary, new technology is always capable of interfacing with old technology. I can't imaging putting a fuel injector into a Model T, or trying to read an 8" floppy disk now., bpw