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CThreePO Home, Keith Graham's Blog, FreeNameAStar.com
Editor's Note:
This is a list of Clichés (An idea so often
used that its original power has been drained away). I do
not say that there are not important or great works of Fantasy that
use these Clichés. I receive many emails pointing out that some book
uses one of these Clichés usually followed by calling me an idiot.
The point is that many of these Clichés are USED in good books, or even
movies. The first time, great! The next time, not so great. The hundredth
time - it is overused. If you use one of these in a new work, you are
guilty of using an idea that has appeared often enough in the past to
be an obvious overused Cliché.
A few hacks have taken the list and pointed out works in the past that
use the Clichés. Rather than making a point, they are proving that these
are just what it says, overused Clichés. By trying to be cute, they
have proved that they have no idea what they are talking about. It only
takes one good book using a great idea to create a Cliché. Tolkien made
a quest involving a magical talisman unusable in fantasy. He created
the Cliché (yes, I know that both he and Wagner lifted the ring idea
from norse legend), and he did such a good job as to make similar quests
nothing more than poor imitations (eg: Sword of Shanarra). The ring
quest is a great idea, but it has been turned into a Cliché by one good
book.
Others have taken the list and shown that there is some veracity in them. Usually explaining why some fantasy character acted like they did, or why a unicorn should be in a story. This has nothing to do with the fact that the concept is overused. The complaint isn't that the plot point is not justifiable, just that it is old hackneyed and used too often. If you use a unicorn in your story, think of Peter S. Beagle, Theodore Sturgeon, Piers Anthony, Terry Brooks, Roger Zelazny, and Steven Boyett. If you think you can come up with something better, good for you, but unicorns have been done and done well and now are an overused Cliché.
From time to time I get a suggestion. I have automated the procedure, so here is the current list of suggestions.
, Dueling characters who have access to advanced, futuristic weaponry, will eventually resort to using simple primitive weapons or means (stake, knife, blunt intstrument, cauldron of hot liquid, etc…) to finally defeat their enemy.
, Even though 21st century helicopters and fighter jets can automaticallly lock onto enemy craft, starships of the future rely on a human using a joystick to target the enemy craft manually, and they can't lock on to it even then.
, offworld exploration crew catches deadly alien virus
, Alien races are strictly monocultural. They speak one language, have one religion, a unique set of moral values, and even dress all the same.
, Humans from the future, even in the year 56 877, pretty much have the same set of moral values as 20th century people. 

, In the future, all of humanity is neatly grouped into just one major faction. Cultures and nations that absolutely hate each other do not seem to mind.
, A scientist unlocks new science / technology / knowledge which is not supposed to be in human's hands, because it goes against "nature" and allows him to "play god". Eventually, everything goes wrong and the scientist is punished for his Hybris. Humans realize that some things should be left alone, and / or that ignorance is better than this kind of knowledge.
, Several points regarding an anthropomorphic robot:
1) Why are the robots built to look like humans?
2) the robot's "brain" is always in its head and chopping off the head "kills" the robot. (A robot's logic would probably be processed in circuits through the whole body or at least in the "torso" since the space isn't needed for internal organs)3) The eyes and ears for the robot are always on the robot's head - why not have sensors in different parts of the body? (E.g. a camera on the end of a finger so that the robot could just poke that around a corner instead of its whole head)
, The protagonist is never tempted by the power of the darkness.
(This works in KH and Final Fantasy pretty well, in other places...not so much).
, A huge alien is able to take the form (or fit inside the body of) a smaller species (usually a human) until the climatic confrontation scene where it suddenly reverts to its gigantic size
, A system is locked down be security measures which, while impervious to the bad guys, can be overcome by a key character by a magical override.

, The Captain of the protagonist ship is never a mutant, alien or non-standard human stock, even when the culture on board the ship is multi-cultural and has mutants, aliens or non-standard human stock.
, The Good Guys are always human, while The Bad Guys are never anything but the most inhuman and / or disgusting species availible.
, Women who are small-breasted, uncurvy or otherwise "not feminine" are never important.
, The protagonists destroy the entire social structure and governmental system of the society they encounter, and only a few old fuddy-duddies complain. (should've been a red cross form the beginning)
, Single male tentacle monster ISO single human female. Objective: mating.
, The smaller the alien, the more fur it has covering a larger percentage of the body. You never see a small, hairless, alien, or a hulking furball. Wookies are the exception that proves the rule.
, Futuristic new and advanced versions of weapons systems and vehicles look exactly like the ones from the 20th century, except for a painted symbol, a blinking light or slightly different arrangement of control surfaces/tracks/wheels.
, Its easy to connect a human computer to a alien computer and controll it (and humans can learn how to use alien computers in seconds), even if no one knows how it works its no problems to write viruses for it, aliens dont need secure computer systems? Btw how do you connect a standard computer to a alien system? does it even use electrical signals...
, Enitre planets are used as rubbish tips. Recycling has disappeared in the future.
, Leader of the Galactic Federation (or Senate, or whatever), among thousands of other alien races, is always human. 
, The alien race that is aeons ahead of humanity and possess amazing technology. They won't give it to us as we're not R"Eady" yet, but we keep trying to nick it from them.
, Every race in the universe are biped creatures.
, The good guys always have plenty of ammo to shoot at the bad guys until the plot requires that they be captured
, Any old whizkid or astromech droid can override the security protocols for the city's central computer. The designers never seem to upgrade their firewalls to avoid this.
, The thousand year-old alien battleship of a long-gone empire is always more powerful than the most recent state-of-the-art starship.
, A Shape shifting alien race is found, people constantly try to profit from it things go bad alein rampage occurs
, When the Evil Overlord dies, none of his surviving henchmen move into the power vacuum; instead, his empire collapses.
(this too needs to be a red cross mark, IMHO)
, A plucky hero or side-kick sends supposedly veteran fighter scurrying away while yelling at the top of his lungs and firing wildly. They come to some barrier, realize what's happened, and then chase or kill him.
, The starship computer can inform the crew of the impending destruction of the ship to the neareast second, but cannot use any countermeasures whatsoever- such things as cutting the fuel supply to the reactor, using sprinklers to put out the fire, or removing air from the area on fire are all apparently impossible.
, spaceships must bank in order to turn
, the engines of a space-bound ships are always needlessly located at the aft section of the craft
, the engines of a space-bound ships are always needlessly located at the aft section of the craft
, Even in the 50th century, after Faster Than Light Travel and A.I. have become common technology, it doesn't seem to be possible to get a radio to work on a spaceship : radio transmission is always filled with static, screeches and sound distorsions, especially if it's a SOS or a warning message. 
, Classic weapons are completely abandoned in favor of energy-beam ones, even though energy weapons are susceptible to interferences and cannot penetrate certain shields and forcefields the conventional ones could.
, The now-very-typical presence of the doomsday superweapon. First it was planets, then stars. Instead of wasting so many resources and so much manpower on the construction and deployment of such large, impractical weapons (which the destruction of such is now typically an Achilles Heel to the creators), why not use the same resources and manpower to mass-manufacture traditional weapons (and fleets of ships)that have proven to be successful in the past? I mean, imagine how many TIE Fighters and Star Destroyers the Empire could have manufactured if the Imperials hadnt built the 2 (TWO!!!) Death Stars?! The Rebellion wouldnt have stood a CHANCE! But no... planet destroying superweapons that can be slain by a single pilot in a fighter!
, All human computers must make beeps when presenting information on a screen, the horror to use a system like that and try to look at wikipedia.
, Nobody ever, ever runs out of breath, no matter what.
, Humans can visit aliens and alien planets without some kind of quarantine procedure or without the risk of giving the alien influenza or some other infectious disease, vise versa.

, Asteroids that sound like a passing jumbo jet as they pass.
DISCLAIMER: The use of masculine/feminine pronouns and assignment of gender roles is not intended to preclude a reversal of gender roles. It is, however, intended to offend those who think that the Y chromosome is the root of all evil. Nyah.
This list is no longer " new and improved" . The " improvements" were too much work to maintain.
The Symbols:
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The green check marks those items which are not so bad, but have been used so many times that it takes a really strong treatment to lift them out of the slush pile. They will not destroy an otherwise well-written story, and some of the classics employ these elements (and employ them well). |
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The yellow check marks those items which were mildly interesting the first time around, but simply provoke a response along the lines of " been there, done that" on the re-runs. Only a truly bizarre twist on these ideas can give them new life. |
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The green cross marks those items which are baloney, but are tolerable for the sake of dramatic effect as long as the events of the story do not depend on them. |
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The yellow cross marks those items which are lame, and support the plot in some way, but can be saved if there is a supporting justification. For instance, having a robot bleed oil when it gets shot is pretty lame; having a hydraulically-powered robot leak hydraulic fluid when shot is creditable. |
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The red cross marks those items which flatly contradict the known laws of nature, introduce an irreconcilable contradiction, require the characters involved to have the IQ of a banana peel, or are abysmally stupid for some other reason. |
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The Starfleet logo marks those items for which Star Trek has been an offender. |
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The piggy marks those items that are unconscionably sexist. |
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The swastika marks those items that show racial, ethnic, or religious bigotry. |
Section I: Overused Plots and Storylines
Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle
to kick the Rooskies out of the good ol' US of A.
Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle
to survive against gangs of bandits, mutants, cyberpunks, bikers, etc.
The rag-tag rebel army/fleet struggles
valiantly to overthrow the Evil Empire.
The Good Guys travel through time to
stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler. 
The
Bad Guy travels through time to kill the Hero in his childhood, or to prevent
him from ever being born. 
The
Chronocops travel in time to catch a Bad Guy who escaped into some other era. 
Scientists
work feverishly to develop a cure for the Supervirus or a weapon to stop the
Invincible Bad Guys.
An alien:

A virtual
reality program is activated, and the distinction between reality and the
program becomes confused or indistinguishable. 
People
connect their brains directly to computers and get dependent on them.
Aliens travel a zillion miles to loot
the earth of resources which exist in far greater and much more easily exploitable
quantities on the many uninhabited bodies they pass on the way to earth. 
A complex
computer system spontaneously becomes self-aware.
A couple files an application to the
government for permission to conceive a baby. 
A human
falls in love with a robot.
A robot falls in love with a human. 
UFO
abductions. 
Brain-controlling
parasites attempt to wrest control of human race. 
Aliens
put someone on trial for the sins of humanity. 
A high-tech
amusement park goes lethally berserk.
Death from old age turns out to be due
to some simple, single cause, leading to an easy immortality treatment, with
consequent catastrophic social implications.
A great hunter decides that humans are
the most entertaining prey of all, and visits Earth to bag a few.
Psychedelic drugs give somebody magical
power over space, time and reality.
Aliens with completely incomprehensible
motivations make war on the human race/invade earth. 
The
bureaucratic/reactionary mindset stands in the way of scientific progress.
A researcher overcomes it through ability, purity of heart, and use of the
scientific method. Or not.
Two hostile factions colonize a planet
within walking distance of each other. 
The
government ships criminals off to other planets. 
A human
male becomes pregnant. 
An
android discovers emotions and loses control.
A young researcher:
Aliens invade earth in order to eat humans. 
An
AI turns on its creators. 
A person
from the past goes into suspended animation and wakes up in modern times,
or a person from modern times goes into suspended animation and wakes up in
the future. 
A person
travels back in time to meet a major historical personage and winds up either
becoming that person or taking that person's place at a critical juncture.
The rightful monarch or long-lost heir
is restored to the throne.
A sexually selective plague kills off
or sterilizes almost all of the men, or almost all of the women. 
A human
discovers that the human race is being controlled by aliens.
The alien invasion that flounders because
their technological advantage is perfectly neutralized by their lack of resources,
compared to the humans.
Earth is threatened by an asteroid, and
a space mission is mounted to save the planet.
Humans are seen as a menace to galactic
society, having developed technology over a few short centuries compared with
the thousands it took the other races.
The government bans music, painting, dancing,
or some other art form; only the hero seems to care enough to do anything
about it.
A technological innovation prompts a
large portion of society to violently suppress it.
" Single female monster ISO single human
male. Object: Mating." 
An
entire society is run by a computer. Maybe it goes beserk.
An being is sent to earth on a mission
of assassination or genocide; it changes its mind after getting to know (and
perhaps fall in love with) one or more humans. 
The
crew's memories are wiped. As they recover, they discover that they are helping
the guy who did it to them. 
A man
escapes a VR simulation, and later discovers that he has escaped into another
VR simulation. 
An alien
that is substantially like us doesn't understand love, and visits humans in
order to learn. The lesson is completed after the alien gets a Dose of Good
Luvin'. Section II: Overused Settings and Characterizations

Aliens
whose thinking is so different from ours that no communication is possible.
Alien races that find our women attractive,
while we find theirs to be repulsive. 
Alien
races who differ from us only in skin color and/or facial features.
Extra breasts on the alien women.
Aliens that are incomprehensible to humans
but understand humans perfectly. 
Alien
species depicted as having no ethnic, religious, cultural, philosophical or
political variance, especially:
Amazon babes 
Alien
species with personality traits or cultural mores that are treated as invariable
laws of nature. 
Alien
races whose names all have lots of hard consonants. 
Lots
of apostrophes are packed into alien words and phrases for no apparent reason. 
Humans
of future have no ethnic, religious, cultural, philosophical or political
variance.
Cities of future are depicted as though
sanitation workers have been on strike from now until then.
The entire story setting is dominated
by huge impersonal business conglomerates. 
Planets
with the same exact climate planet-wide (planets without atmosphere excepted).
Super-intelligent AI's that speak, behave,
and act in a manner indistinguishable from the human characters.
The incredibly competent man-of-action
with more skills/degrees than you can shake a blaster at.
The incredibly competent woman-of-action
with large breasts, no sexual inhibitions, and more skills/degrees than you
can shake a blaster at.
Shadowy malevolent Pentagon officials.
Each and every character has a tainted
history.
A society consists of:
Societies where all technology has been
destroyed except automobiles and their equivalents, which are still running
yet there are no mechanics, workshops, or gas stations.
Heroes who are so emotionally stunted
that they don't care about close friends/relatives that die as long as they
complete some mission.
Any character with a perpetual two-day
growth of beard.
Futuristic societies where only the ultra-rich
can afford quality health care, and everyone else is reduced to selling their
bodily organs. 
Beings
of pure energy. 
A society
in which everyone is required to die on his or her Nth birthday.
Creatures from our mythology (e.g., centaurs,
dragons) occur among the wildlife native to an alien planet. 
Aliens
whose sociology, values and beliefs are indistinguishable from those of an
Oriental culture, e.g., feudal Japan.. 
Eccentric
scientists.
The assistant to the scientist who is
either deformed or dating the scientist's daughter.
Future societies that have relapsed into
feudalism. 
Alternative
Earths where society is just like some society of the past, with some technodoodads
added.
Palace guards who are ineffectual due
to ineptitude or inattentiveness.
Fantastic but non-viable creatures (men
with tortoiseshell backs, gigantic insects) made possible by high levels of
radiation, and which don't suffer any ill effects from it. 
Aliens
that speak human languages without error, having taken no pains to learn how. 
An
alien tongue is translated into perfect English, except for gratuitious use
of alien units of time and distance. 
Aliens
whose vocal apparatus is just like ours, so that they can speak human languages
with only a slight accent.
Omnipotent pacifist aliens who impose
their philosophy on us without bothering to protect us from the races they
have left alone. 
Men
and women live in separate societies (and I'm not talking Mars and Venus,
either).
Clones are inexplicably different from
regular people in a particular manner (mentally unstable, don't mind being
used as cannon fodder, etc.). 
The
vast majority of alien races consider 20°C to be room temperature. 
Societies
that are utopian in every regard except for one serious drawback that completely
outweighs the utopian aspects, such as having the death penalty for some really
minor offense. 
Disembodied
live brains living in tanks. 
Eyes
that glow (sometimes accompanied by minor-key chords in TV and film). 
Sentient
artificial intelligences that wish to eliminate the human race.
Sentient artificial intelligences that
select a human figure to holographically represent themselves. 
Computers
with voice synthesizers either use a sensuous female contralto, a threatening
male baritone, or a nasally tinny neutral voice. 
Bad
guys who miss everything they shoot at.
Beginning warriors who hit everything
they shoot at. 
Characters
who are always ready for intimate relations. 
All
genetically superior humans have an innate drive to rule, conquer, or kill
everyone else. 
Alien
vampires that feed on brainwaves/life-force/exotic biochemicals/psychic energies
that can only be obtained from sentient life forms.
Post-cataclysmic societies that treat
items of the lost technology as holy relics.
Alien monsters that find humans edible,
tasty, and non-toxic. 
The
evil duplicate of the hero, sidekick, universe, etc. 
The
grammatical differences between the languages used by humans and aliens are
cited as conclusive proof of radically different ways of thinking. 
Sentient
AIs that communicate with other sentient AIs via their voice synthesizer.
The intelligent and confident woman who
can be bribed with a dress. 
Androids
with intelligence equal to an IQ of around 1000 who can't seem to figure out
human emotions, humor, or verbal contractions.
Everyone in the post-catastrophic future
dresses like heavy metal musicians.
A common proverb gets " translated" into
more generic terms, resulting in obfuscation of the meaning. 
An alien
race has a trait that greatly complicates interacting with them, but even
after centuries of contact with humans they still manage to keep it secret. 
The
ancient spacefairing alien race that:
Aliens whose language is not pronounceable
by humans, but who can still speak human langauges with relative ease.
The villain who can infallibly predict
how the protagonists will react to a given turn of events. 
All
religious figures are:

A society
of aliens and/or villains that are amazingly similar to an Infamous Human
Political Movement. 
Societies
wherein gender roles and attitudes are completely reversed. 
Whiz
kids. 
Most
aliens breathe oxygen, just like humans do. 
Bored,
omnipotent, immortal beings. 
An
immortal being that wants to die.
People with cyborg implants will needlessly
exhibit the benefits of this hardware just to relieve boredom or show off.
Children with access to the highest levels
of military planning, scientific research, and governmental decision-making.
A smart, courageous, gorgeously attractive
woman who is rarely if ever asked out. 
Every
planet seems to have a surface gravity of 9.8 meters per second squared and
rotates around its axis in about 24 hours, just like Earth.
All of the spacefaring races have roughly
the same level of technology.
Aliens that transform into a colorful
puddle when they die. 
The
Free Love Utopia, populated only by fabulously good-looking people, that somehow
remains free of sexually transmitted diseases, has no relationship turmoil,
and is not inundated with hordes of people looking for easy sex.
The untrained, average Joe who can take
on and defeat highly trained and well-equipped operatives.
The Wise Race of Ancients who do nothing
for the protagonists except offer advice.
The Wise Race of Ancients that secretly
supports the protagonists.
The former Great Man of Action who is
now just a washed-up drunk.
An interstellar realm is ruled by a handful
of powerful families, each scheming to eliminate the rest, instead of forming
alliances. 
Except
for the distinguishing marks on aliens and bad guys, everyone has perfect
skin. 
Upon
arrival in a distant epoch, the time travellers can speak the local language
without accent. 
The
city's main computer can be accessed from any of a number of public-access
terminals located conveniently throughout the city. 
The
less technologically advanced a culture is, the more spritually advanced it
is.
The modification of one custom, law,
or common belief would transform Western society into Utopia.
All female scientists are good-looking;
male scientists are average-looking. 
Except
for full-blown dictatorships, government officials of the future never abuse
their powers. 
Not
even the soldiers or marines make vulgar jokes. 
In
the future, everyone's taste in music and literature extends solely to the
classics. 
Immortals
who assume many identities over the course of human history. 
Everyone's
counterpart in the parallel universe has, as his/her associates, the counterparts
of the same people that the primary knows in this universe. 
Whenever
the captain walks onto the bridge, the same people are always on duty. 
Superheroes
wear primary colors (red, blue, and yellow). 
Supervillains
wear secondary colors (green, purple, and orange). 
Only
bad guys have goatees. 
In
the future, everyone is good in bed. 
Entire
cities whose buildings use the same architectural design. 
World
governments are enlightened and efficient; nation-states are backward and
primitive. 
In
the future, everyone either supports their government fully, or is engaged
in a terrorist campaign to overthrow it. 
In
the future, government corruption has been eradicated.
The tribal chieftain's eldest child is
a defiant free-spirited youth, and if female is the sexiest member of the
tribe.
The alien's superpowers become manifest
when he/she/it is expose to Terran conditions. 
All
alien females, galaxy-wide, use cosmetics the same way that Western women
do. 
Although
humans still have multiple languages, each alien race has only one langauge. 
Kindly
enlightened races are native to beautiful planets with congenial climate;
cruel, benighted races arise on ugly planets with brutal weather. 
Ths
ship's computer is programmed to track the location of each and every person
aboard, but is never programmed to report personnel in unauthorized areas,
or those who suddenly disappear. 
Among
the intelligent creatures, man-sized beings predominate. 
The
token black guy is the muscular scion of a Noble Warrior culture. 
The
entire population of the planet lives in one city. 
The
energy being takes the form of a mass of flickering lights. Section III: Overused story events and plot devices

Discussions,
ending with a joke, about how bureaucracies are the same everywhere in the
galaxy. 
The
most intelligent course of action is precluded by orders from high-ranking
ignoramus, on the basis of a transparently flawed rationale. 
Technological
malfunction as a plot device.
The timer count-down on the Bad Guy Device
being stopped by the hero with bare seconds left.
Alien contact perceived or regarded as
a spiritual/quasi-religious experience. 
Aliens
who are vastly more intelligent and advanced than we are, but we beat them
anyway by " ingenuity," plain guts, or exploiting an Achilles Heel. 
A teenage
genius discovers an entire new field of science, and builds practical devices
that use it, in his bedroom.
The psychological trauma/attitude problem
of female character is cured (or at least temporarily relieved) by a Dose
of Good Luvin' from the hero. 
Persons
of different species interbreed without difficulty. 
The
author lectures the viewer/reader; the lecture takes the form of a Platonic
Dialogue between two characters, or of the Cosmic Message from the Ultra-enlightened
Aliens to the Great Unwashed Human Masses. 
A conspiracy
develops, involving lots of people, and remains secret for an extended period
of time.
The author attempts to wittily euphemize
the phrase go screw yourself by referring to it as " a physiologically
impossible act" . 
The
availability of firearms notwithstanding, swordfighting returns as a significant
method of combat. 
A Big
Surprise awaits the reader/viewer at the end of the tale:

Telepaths
use their power to achieve a heightened sexual experience.
Telepaths are regarded as witches or
lunatics, and are dealt with accordingly. 
Inherited
supernatural power (telepathy, lycanthropy, etc.) becomes pronounced at the
onset of puberty.
Humans leave for the stars, forget all
about Earth, and rediscover it later.
No matter how slowly the monster shambles
along, or how quickly the victim runs, the monster is always right behind
the victim when he/she trips or encounters an obstacle.
When fleeing danger, females trip over their
own shadows while men can sprint without caution. 
An
alien artifact imbues human(s) with incredible abilities.
A fighter pilot, upon destroying an alien
vessel, yells " yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaa!"
The time traveller helps the future society
mellow out by introducing music from his period. 
Time
travellers go back in time to prevent some Bad Thing from happening and in
the process actually cause the Bad Thing to happen. 
Time
travellers go back in time to prevent some Bad Thing from happening; they
succeed, but cause something worse to happen.
When a player gets " killed" in a virtual
reality simulation, they also die in real life.
A war gets started over a stupid misunderstanding
between two sides that otherwise have no reason to fight, and no effort is
made to resolve the crisis diplomatically. 
The
two opponents in a war have been fighting for so long that they've forgotten
how the war got started in the first place, but no effort is made to resolve
the crisis diplomatically. 
The
two opponents in a war have been fighting for decades/centuries/millenia;
the main characters end the war peacefully in a matter of days or hours. 
Humans
have a special quality that makes us unique, so that even superbeings can
learn something from us. 
A pet
survives the disaster, and is discovered at the end of the story.
So-called elite forces get their butts
kicked by a smaller, less well-armed force.
A scientist develops an artificially intelligent
computer system that can understand natural language and draw inductive conclusions
from incomplete data, and uses it on projects far less practical and/or profitable
than such a computer would be. 
Someone
gets healed by contact with aliens (often by a laying on of hands). 
The
greedy businessman refuses to recognize that his dangerous product/service
will screw him over long before he can hope to make a profit. 
The
monster kills/eats the token black guy first. 
Explorers
are greeted as gods by the natives, who cling to this belief in spite of everything
the explorers do and say. 
An alien
custom throws humans into confusion, even though one or more human cultures
share the custom and have followed it for centuries.
Low-brow white male human bar patron
of the future spouts bigoted remarks that wouldn't be tolerated today, while
protagonists look on in silent dismay at the " dark side" of the human race.
A person's physical impairments vanish
when they are possessed by the Alien Entity. 
A technologically
advanced race conquers a technologically inferior race, and puts them to work
doing things that the conqueror's machines can do far more efficiently.
The gang of cute and/or misfit kids rescue
the universe, where a large group of competent, organized and well-armed adults
failed.
The aliens' plan to exterminate the human
race is stopped at the last moment when they notice a human exhibiting some
virtue , such as love, humor, etc.
A fellow has Super Powers, but can only
use them when he is emotionally agitated. 
The
protagonists destroy the entire social structure and governmental system of
the society they encounter, and only a few old fuddy-duddies complain. 
A problem
involving an alien is resolved in a manner dependent on the unusual and heretofore-unknown
location of the alien's reproductive organs.
The human abdomen is an ideal incubator
for Alien Eggs/Spawn, and this has no apparent effect on the host until the
Alien Spawn erupts from their stomach in a messy fashion. 
No matter
how large a ship is, any monster let loose on board will learn its way around
in an hour's time, enabling it to sneak up behind its victims without fail.
A female antagonist changes sides after
receiving a Dose of Good Luvin' from the hero. 
The
crewmember who is brainwashed or otherwise subverted into sabotaging/betraying
the ship is allowed to return to duty, with no concerns that they remain a
security risk.
Resolving the imminent threat to mankind
requires that the drunken has-been get sober. 
A high-ranking
matriarch, in a society that oppresses men, falls for the Hero's rugged charms. 
A crewmember
has a radical change of personality, but the few people who notice don't seem
particularily bothered by it. 
Human
spies are sent to inflitrate an alien society in order to better understand
it.
When the Evil Overlord dies, none of
his surviving henchmen move into the power vacuum; instead, his empire collapses.
The Good Guys, after a setback, launch
their counterattack with the help of members of a rastafarian-like culture. 
The
death of the Bad Guy involves a long fall.
At some point the protagonists must enter
a hostile region called The Forbidden Zone. 
When
the Heroes destroy the computer that runs an entire society, it's considered
a good thing for the members of that society. 
When
an ordinary crewmember transforms into the Enlightened Being of Cosmic Power,
he departs the scene instead of staying around to help out his still-human
buddies. 
A society
of humans adopts an artifical means of reproduction (such as cloning), forgets
about sex and intimacy, and has to learn about it at some later point. 
Any
weapon can be picked up and used by anyone, no matter how lacking they are
in training and/or upper-body strength.
When defeat is imminent, it is avoided
by a strategem, tactic, or weapon that could just as easily been used at the
start of the fight. 
Away
teams going on dangerous missions are comprised of irreplaceable members of
the ship's crew, such as the captain, medical chief, chief engineer, etc.
Expendible flunkies are left behind to mind the store. 
Time
travel from the future into modern times winds up in the year of the show's
production.
Any class of people having super powers
will be persecuted by normal humanity. 
The
lowest-ranking members of any mission team are doomed. 
A starship
captain disobeys a direct order from a superior. When the dust settles, he's
still a starship captain.
The episode ends with the two arch-enemies
playing a game of chess.
Malignant aliens land in densely-populated
regions, are instantly targetted by a criminal (who is fatally defeated).
Benevolent aliens land in the boondocks. 
After
a remonstration from the Good Guys, the Great Dictator confesses that he was
merely trying to keep order, and reforms. 
The
possessed human exhibits superhuman strength. 
The
crewman in the leaky spacesuit is rescued with seconds of air to spare.
The stranded heroes come across a crashed
space vessel. The ship is returned to a serviceable condition after only a
little bit of repair work.
Section IV: Silly Science

Super-intelligent
computers blow up when the hero confuses them. 
Super-intelligent
computers get confused when the hero says to them "everything I say is a lie"
or some other paradoxical statement. 
Space
vessels lack fuses, circuit breakers, and surge supressors, so that the control
panels explode when some distant portion of the ship is damaged. 
Computers
get reprogrammed by someone who has no knowledge of the computer's operating
system. 
Computer
terminals display the current operation (e.g., "UPLOADING VIRUS") in huge,
flashing letters. 
The
patently obvious design flaws in a vehicle or weapon system go uncorrected
during the entire life cycle of the system in question.
A vehicles and/or weapon systems is deployed
in an entirely impractical environment. 
Spacecraft
features have been pointlessly carried over from water-borne designs. 
An
untested medical treatment is used. It's 100% effective and has no side effects. 
Some
acquires a medical condition that will be fatal in an amount of time expressed
to the tenth significant digit; the cure is found and applied in the nick
of time, enabling a 100% recovery.
A robot is shot and bleeds oil. 
Spacecraft,
when shot, blow up as if they had been packed with gasoline and liquid oxygen.
Computers, when shot, explode as if they
had been stuffed full of Roman candles.
An item of technology is quickly reverse-engineered
by a far less advanced group of researchers. 
A group
of aliens is smart enough to steal someone else's technology, but too stupid
to make any improvements on it. 
A technological
development progresses from half-baked theory to useful implementation in
fifteen minutes instead of fifteen months. 
After
twenty years of crew members being tossed around like the balls in a bingo
cage, the spacecraft still has no seatbelts.
Nuclear weapons have an effect well out
of proportion for reasonable yields. 
Computer
security protocols are overridden merely by saying "override" to the computer. 
A clone
grows to match the cloned person's state of physiological development in a
small fraction of the time.
Clones think, act, and speak in a manner
indistinguishable from that of the cloned person. 
Clones
come out of the cloning vat with the same haircut as the individual cloned. 
AI
software has unique properties that prevent it from being copied or transmitted
like any other data. 
AI
software is able to bypass the security protocols of the operating system
in which it runs. 
On-board
computers always know exactly how long it will take for the malfunction to
blow up the ship.
Computers that exist in the far future
or are alleged to be 'cutting edge,' will demonstrate less functionality than
a Commodore 64. 
Two
races have never contacted each other, cannot speak each other's language,
and cannot possibly have worked out compatible protocols for transmission
of data; nonetheless, their computers enable them to communicate over their
ships' viewscreens upon first contact. 
Twentieth
century firearms are abandoned, even though the high-tech replacement is significantly
more complex to engineer, more costly to build, and is not appreciably deadlier,
longer-ranged, or more accurate. 
When
an extra or a minor character is shot, they fall over immediately dead; when
a major character is shot, they either survive with a nasty-looking wound,
or they linger long enough to utter some parting words. 
Lasers
are visible when travelling through the vacuum of outer space.
A robot that can't climb stairs is deployed
in an area where stairs are common.
A tactical system that can only deal
with targets visible to the naked eye is still considered worthwhile.
A tactical system of the future that
has no targetting capabilities is still considered satisfactory. 
"Reversing
the polarity" is the solution to virtually every engineering problem. 
Laser
beams travel about as quickly as an arrow. 
Heroes/ships
can dodge laser beams because the beams travel about as quickly as an arrow. 
Alien
artifacts still work after being abandoned for a million years. 
Spaceships
make a whoosh as they go by.
Huge, expensive spacecraft are used to
transport inexpensive goods in tiny quantities. 
Stars
go shooting past the spaceship as it flies through space. 
A large
dose of radiation results in super powers instead of super tumors. 
A large
dose of radiation causes an individual creature to "evolve" into a more advanced
form. 
The
solution for a problem solved four weeks ago is thrown away and never seen
again. 
When
a character is aged prematurely, or cured of premature aging, hair that has
already grown changes color to match. 
A space
vessel is sent out on missions before its systems are fully operational.
The Hero knows how to defuse the bomb,
but can't remember which of two wires to cut. 
When
a computer is working on a difficult problem, the increased power requirements
cause the room lights to dim or flicker.
Robots that despite their size and function
are designed with exactly the same features as a human (two arms and legs,
ten fingers, two eyes, same joint system, etc.)
Somebody lifts a car (or some other heavy
object) with his bionic arm, even though the rest of his body is normal flesh
and bone and couldn't possibly support the load.
The plans for a complicated device can
be downloaded onto a 1.44 Meg floppy. 
Increasing
a computer beyond a certain level of speed, memory capacity, or complexity
causes it to become self-aware. 
Creatures
capable of changing their shapes can also alter their mass while they're at
it.
A hole the size of a barn is made in
the hull of a space ship; decompression of the ship's atmosphere takes a half
minute or so.
A hole the size of a dime is made in
the hull of a space ship; decompression of the ship's atmosphere takes a half
minute or so.
A large nuclear explosion can be obtained
by putting several smaller devices together. 
The
same energy beam which causes rocks, buildings and robots to violently explode
produces only a puff of smoke and a bit of burnt flesh and clothing when used
on a living being. 
The
sewers/ventilation ducts provide easy access throughout the city/ship/castle.
All computers have madly whirling tape
drives. 
When
something explodes in space, the shock wave is ring-shaped. 
When
an orbiting space vessel is crippled or otherwise put out of action, it immediately
starts falling out of orbit. 
A shape-shifter
whose natural form is homogenous can be knocked out with a blow to the head
when in humanoid form. 
The
narrow energy beam disintegrates the entire person it hits, and his clothing
and possessions, but doesn't leave so much as a stain on the chair he is sitting
in or the ground he is standing on. 
Instead
of a solid physical door, jail cells of the future are secured with force
fields, turning every power failure into a jailbreak. 
Space
vessels bank in order to make turns. 
When
the ship goes to red alert, the lights dim and turn red. 
In spite
of the tremendous safety hazard presented, glassware is permitted in large
quantities on ships that make use of artificial gravity. 
Colored
irregular crystals are the power source of the future. 
The
artificial gravity is the last system of all to fail. 
Ion
storms. 
Alien
life forms that increase their mass without ingesting anything. 
When
two ships meet, they are both oriented with 'up' in the same direction, unless
one is disabled, in which case it always lists. 
Computer
security passwords are entered by saying them out loud. The possibility of
bugs or spies never hinders this practice. 
The
matter transmission device cannot duplicate live organisms, except by accident.
Duplicating the circumstances of the accident never succeeds. 
Data
processing devices emit a quasi-random series of innocuous sounds when processing
information. Every character that is printed on the computer screen is accompanied
by a sound.
Although computer keyboards of the future
will still have the space bar, nobody will use it anymore. 
The
spaceship that is really a living creature with a significant amount of intelligence. 
Laser
guns have recoil. 
The
stolen alien technology is already compatible with our power systems and can
be installed and used immediately. 
Beam
weapons can only be fired in a narrow beam in a continuous direction, and
can never be swept across a target or fired at a wide angle. 
The
alien forces are dependent on the mothership, such that destroying the mothership
disables them. 
Every
inhabited planet rotates around its axis about as quickly as Earth does, give
or take a couple hours.
The chemicals in the lab are mostly colorful.
The poisonous ones are always bright green.
Computer displays project their contents
onto the face of the viewer.
Dimming the lights on the bridge conserves
enough power to enable a significant increase in the speed of a multi-ton
spacecraft. 
You
can get from the common areas of a ship to the most sensitive areas via the
ventilation and maintenance ducts. There are never any security precautions
in place to prevent this.
A computer can be destroyed by shooting
its display screen.
Section V: Rejected suggestions
The Grand List of Overused Science Fiction Clichés is a cooperative effort. Due to my failure to keep track of things, not all of the people received credit for the clichés they pointed out. But here are the ones I can credit:
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© 2004 by John VanSickle. Permission to quote for non-commerical use is granted, provided that this copyright notice is included. Permission to link from non-commericial Web pages is granted. Permission to translate for non-commericial use is granted, provided that the resulting page credits the authors. All other rights reserved. |
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