Polly sent me this with a demand that I get to work. It is basically creating a punny title by merging two movies together. The original was books, but movies are more fun.
Jim had the first one (Jim’s favorite movie is The Third Man):
“The Third Manchurian Candidate” – A poor, drunken writer in post-war
Austria has been brainwashed to assassinate a noisy zither musician.
John came up with these:
“Woman in the Rear Window” — A wheelchair-bound invalid in an apartment becomes obsessed with a wide-bottomed painter from across the courtyard.
“His Girl Friday the Thirteenth” – Pandemonium ensues when a serial killer begins slaughtering cub reporters in a city newsroom.
“A Porn Star is Born” — The rags to riches tale of a man with a very large penis and a very small brain.
“A Room With a View to a Kill” — James Bond hunts down a band of effete Edwardian Britishers hell-bent on picnics and lawn parties.
I came up with some Sci-Fi ones
“The Loneliness of a Long Distance Blade Runner” A rebellious youth, sentenced to a boy’s reformatory for robbing a bakery, finds himself questioning who he is when evidence starts to indicate he could be a running replicant.
“A Star Wars is Born” A young Jedi Knight comes to Hollywood with dreams of the Dark Side, but achieves them only with the help of an alcoholic Yoda whose best days are behind him.
“2001, a Space Odyssey File” An freelance journalist Peter Miller finds a mysterious artifact buried on the moon and, with the intelligent computer HAL, finds himself involved with the powerful organization of former SS members, called ODYSSEY, as well as with the Israeli secret service.
While walking around at lunch I thought of:
“The Three Horse Feathers” A man is given feathers of cowardice by three brothers. Hijinx ensue.
OK readers, now yours!
Polly just sent me another one from John Prusinski:
How about “For Whom the Belle de Jour” – An American caught up in the Spanish Civil War falls for a kinky Catherine Deneuve. (and who wouldn’t?)
and another one from her brother:
“For Whom the Bell Jar” where an American caught up in the Spanish Civil War falls for a manic-depressive.
Oh no! more from Anthony Corman
How Green Was My Valley of the Dolls: Huw Morgan leaves the Welsh mining village of his birth for a life of extramarital sex and barbiturate addiction in Hollywood.
My Naked Lunch with Murray: nuff said.
The Call of the Wild Bunch: Buck the dog joins a motorcycle gang.
Lord of the Ring Flies: Frodo takes a plane to Dallas-Fort Worth
Never Let Me Go Tell It on the Mountain: because once I get started…
The Native Son Also Rises: He has a glassel tea, maybe a bialy.
The Invisible Man Who Loved Children: Oy
Gulliver’s Travels with Charlie: a naif and his dog RV their way through Lilliput, predictably crushing half its population.
On the Revolutionary Road: Hipster gets married and tries to settle in suburban Connecticut, only to get so drug that he flips his lid, daddy-o.
All the Pretty Horses’ Mouths: [Oh the sick possibilities here. I’d best stop.]
and here’s Jimmy!
Late but undaunted:
“The Sweet Smell of Sweetback’s Badass” A New York press agent gets the scoop on a new black guy in town who’s had enough of “the Man.”
“A Hard Day’s Night of the Living Dead” Dead British rockers rise from the grave and send the girls screaming in the opposite direction.
“The Godzillafather” Radioactivity turns a mafia don into an indestructible force tamed only by turf wars and tiny singing girls.
“Goodfellas Will Hunting” Some New York mobsters take time out from their wacking to convince a troubled Boston student that “it’s not his fault.”
“Taxi Driving Miss Daisy” Travis Bickle leaves New York’s mean streets for the more genteel horrors of the South and introduces Miss Daisy to her first porn movie.
“Apocalypse Never on Sunday” A big-hearted Greek hooker travels to Vietnam and tries to cure Colonel Kurtz of his “horror.”
“Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Jules & Jim” A couple of french guys convince two American couples that they should add some jump cuts to their relationships.
and now Johnny B has a few more.
“The Omega Man of la Mancha” — The sole surivivor of a nuclear holocaust keeps the mutant zombies at bay with amusing tales of a would-be knight errant.
“For Whom the Bell Jars” — A disturbed young poetess is assailed with the delusion that the Spanish Civil War is taking place inside her head.
“The Good, the Bad, and the Coyote Ugly” — Oh, enough of this already. . .